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Okie Noir and the Waters of Renewal

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Pictured here: the Mark Twain portion of the Mississippi River Tales Mural. The paintings cover the Great River’s flood-wall in Cape Girardeau, Missouri. (I think he likes me, he really likes me…)

 

What is Okie Noir? It is the struggle and pain, survival and rebirth of people in this land, the place where we descend from outlaws and survivors of attempted genocide and the Dust Bowl. Speaking of Okie Noir, can I get a do over and can I get a witness about these last two months? Remember that song A Long December by Counting Crows? Specifically the part where Adam Duritz sings:

“it’s been a long December and there’s reason to believe Maybe this year will be better than the last…

If you think that I could be forgiven I wish you would…”

That song’s been fluttering around my brain for weeks now and not just because I’m a Gen X’er with a penchant for melancholy 90’s tunes. The end of 2018 stretched on so looooong, I wasn’t sure it was ever going to let us go, even into January. 

Life’s been rough around here of late, from illness and death, depression and anxiety, friends and loved ones wrestling with old ghosts we believed long buried, myself included. While we know these things are continuously present in existence it’s still difficult to grasp what others experience until those same birds come home to roost with you. The one good thing that comes from a painful struggle is renewed empathy for your fellows. Empathy can pull us from the brink when we put it into practice as a community. When you discover the person who disagrees with all your politics and all your dogma just lost a beloved family member all those things that created a gulf between you go right out the window (or at least they should). The proper human reaction is to go to him and offer comfort of some kind. You don’t ask questions, you just go.

January was supposed to be the month I neared completion of my masterpiece, my fourth book that I optimistically like to call my River Book. Let us just say that as of today, I’m three weeks behind schedule. Nonetheless, I intend to publish my River Book this year (***Lord, please let me live long enough to finish my River Book***).

The book is inspired by the true story of bones my sister found on a creek bank in Adair County. That discovery inspired me to imagine this person’s life in the place where we call home. It is the story of all of us in the Ozark foothills; our struggles, connections, spirituality, addiction, grief, humor, music and family… all set alongside the life giver of the Illinois River and its tributaries that tumble down to us from the mountains. This book will be my ultimate expression of #okienoir . 

I’ve known all along that water would be a central character in this book. The Cherokee people are intrinsically connected to the water as a source of food, medicine, celebration and cleansing, to name just a few. The river was known as The Long Man with his head(waters) in the mountains and his feet in the sea.  The ancient ritual of “going to the water” was a cleansing practice performed every morning to start the day. Cherokees would go to the river to pray and submerge themselves regardless of the temperature. The old Cherokees would wade out waist deep just after daybreak and throw water over their heads and pray, “wash away anything that may hinder me from being closer to you, Creator.“

Research for the River Book caused me to seek out some of the most amazing locales in the Ozarks.  The headwaters that flow clean and clear down ravines come together to create a mighty force greater than anything man can control. Gushing underground rivers bubble up out of mountains in some places, the source of which remains quite unclear, even to geologists. These things stoke my fire and renew my dedication to remain childlike with wonder and awe even in these days when I feel like an old woman, weary of the world.

I make no attempt to obscure the obvious influence of Mark Twain in my own work. Life on the Mississippi is the reason why I’m calling this fourth book my River Book. The genius in what he did was to shine light on the darkness and even mine humor from it at times. If my River Book is done correctly it will do the same. Sometimes we are the shadow, sometimes the sun. 

Now you must pardon me as I submerge myself onecet again.

“wash away anything that may hinder me from being closer to you, Creator.“

 

Letter From A Bluff-Dwelling Troglodyte

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Hoy, hoy! How are you feeling now? Has the bloating subsided a bit? Same here. This is your short, end-of-year letter from a bluff-dwelling troglodyte, your old friend from the Ozarks.

I’m working on the fourth book now, something informally called my River Book. So-called because it remains without an official title (***Lord, please let me live long enough to finish my River Book***). As a result, it is time to make a road trip through the Ozarks, the mysterious and beautiful place where I grew up. My only true home. ‘Tis a very strange thing, to research your home. As it turns out I didn’t know that much about the place. The library had volumes of books on the Illinois River and the Ozarks. One in particular described the Springfield Plateau as a prosperous place and home to several Fortune 500 companies. Then the discussion turned to the Ozark region where I grew up, the foothills of the Boston Mountains, on the Arkansas/Oklahoma border. The book pointed out that the people in this area are widely viewed as “bluff-dwelling troglodytes”. I had a good laugh at that. I texted my Dad about the phrase and he said, “Yes. That’s the Phillips clan. Bluff-dwelling troglodytes who will shank ya if you disturb our fishing hole. Then perhaps write a poem about it.”

The research week begins at Hogeye, AR, a place where the Phillips part of my family settled in the 1800’s and incidentally (perhaps) the same place where the Illinois River is borned out from hundreds of little rivulets run down from the hills. They join together to become a force that flows north, crossing the Oklahoma border and turning back south again to bring verdant life to NE Oklahoma. I like to think my Cherokee descendants saw the river after their bitter journey on the Trail of Tears and felt they’d found the closest thing to home for their family.

After Hogeye it’s off to Noel, Eminence and Blue Springs, Missouri. There’s also some place called the Land Between Two Lakes in Kentucky I’m headed for, not because it is considered the Ozarks but because it was on the map and demanded to be seen. Then on to Adams, TN where a strange and disturbing occurrence happened to one poor family in the 1800s. It’s all over now but I’m curious to take a peek. I can’t help myself. All of this brings me around to The Big Date on New Year’s Eve. I’m supposed to rendezvous with a guy named John at the Opry that night. From the Illinois River to the Cumberland, it seems. My family is due to meet me there. Dear ole Dad said several months ago, “We all need to go see Prine before one of us drops dead.” We could not argue with his logic.

This is my question for you: is it ok to wear a shirt that reads “Goose Springsteen” on the front to a John Prine concert? What if my sister made it special for Christmas? I feel like Prine would get it. He has a fine sense of humor if his music is any indication.

Wish me well on the road. If we see each other out there let us share a honk and a snog. Look here, we’re going to make it after all. I leave you with some Prine lyrics for to bake your brain casserole. I guess I’ll see you guys on the latter side of 18.

Make me an angel that flies from Montgomery 

Make me a poster of an old rodeo

Just give me one thing that I can hold on to 

To believe in this living is just a hard way to go 

~Prine

 

December Flog: Special Okie Music Edition

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I like seeing you here for the December Flog: Special Okie Music Edition. Despite the title, I don’t have a musical in the works. But that could be pretty interesting, yeah?

In a perfect world, the holiday season is supposed to remind us to be grateful, to make us more aware of blessings, and then help us find joy that can be made complete by giving that very joy away to others. That’s what I’ve learned in my time on this rock, at least. This is a long overdue Flog Post about the blessing of music in my life and the joy that flows from it.

Since the third book took off this fall I’ve participated in several interviews with the media. Perhaps the most common question I get concerns music. All three of my books have soundtracks that augment the story in some way. Perhaps that sounds weird. Let me explain, by telling you about the first time music took its hold on my pen:

In 2008 I left Tulsa the day after a Bob Dylan concert and began to drive back to Ardmore, where I lived and worked as an attorney. I put the radio on scan because I couldn’t find any good music on the usual stations. I was struck by the sound of a haunted song. The voice was deep, the song simple; it had a rockabilly bass line that grabbed me. It was Sanford Clark singing The Fool. I was mesmerized. The song ended and then a voice floated from my speakers that made my ears catch fever and my face turn red. You know those voices in music that cannot be mistaken? You hear the very first note and you know who’s singing? Neil, Bob, Leon … this voice was like those. I’d never heard a voice so velvety, inviting, and somehow knowing. I could tell this guy had some knowledge that I really needed. The connection on my end was immediate. The radio host was Steve Ripley. He spoke with great passion about Leon Russell and Will of the Wisp and played a track off that album. I can’t explain it exactly, but somehow the inspiration Steve conveyed in his radio show set off some strange combustion in my own brain. In an instant the outline of an entire fiction novel appeared in my head. I could see it like a movie and scrambled to write down this unexpected gift.

It’s a long story and I’ll spare you the details, but eventually Steve Ripley was the first artist to recognize something in me and my work. He invited me to enter a door into a world of artistic creation that I didn’t believe I deserved to walk through. He will likely not be tickled by this public reference because he is such a private person, but he remains the single most responsible party for my inspiration to write for a career. When I picture the whole thing in my mind-dreams, Steve opens the door wearing a top hat and that trademark smile. Thank you Steve, for sharing your joy with me. I promise to keep giving it away.

Recently I came across a quote from one of my favorite writers, Michael Ondaatje. It explains the music and literature connection better than anything I ever came up with: “The rhythm of music has been the biggest influence on my writing – it’s not Wordsworth, it’s Ray Charles. Music has been such an important part of my life. The elements that I have when I’m writing is closer to music than anything else I know. The music in the words.”

If music brings joy to your life, and surely it must, please explore these Okie artists who so generously contributed to my latest book. They comprise a list of incredible talent. Just tapping your toe doesn’t pay the bills, you know? So spend some dough on the music that you dig this year. Many of these artists released albums in 2018 and/or have upcoming releases scheduled for 2019.

They are, in order of appearance in Now I Lay Me Down:

Carter Sampson     Lauren Barth     Kalyn Fay     Wink Burcham     Samantha Crain     John Moreland     Evan Felker

Buffalo Rogers       Nellie Clay          John Calvin Abney     Tequila Kim Reynolds     John Fullbright

Looking for something super fresh? Check out the debut album from the West Coast band Dark Mondays on Itunes and Spotify, headed up by lead vocalist (and Cherokee citizen) Natahne Arrowsmith. Her voice is sublime and rich, like dessert (listen and you’ll hear what I mean). This dark jewel carries a moody vibe that lives up to the band’s name. Dark Mondays also offers up several interpretations of classic Christmas tracks with innovative vocal acrobatics from Arrowsmith. It can be a most satisfying experience to start a new tradition.

Itunes https://itunes.apple.com/us/album/come-sundown-ep/1434478114

Spotify https://distrokid.com/hyperfollow/darkmondays/fkQ5

Now hear this: mark down two more upcoming 2019 albums from my dear friends – The Red Dirt Rangers release their 10th recording, described as “the live sound they’ve been looking for since Cimarron Soul, with lead and rhythm accordion players” in 2019! Follow their Kickstarter and release dates on Twitter and Facebook.

The Okie musician’s musician, Joe Baxter, drops his vintage collection, The Weather,in 2019. I was lucky to get an early glimpse of this album. It is GORGEOUS, full of yearning, dark romance, vulnerability and as always with our old pal J.B., it is quintessential Okie Folk. I daresay it is Okie Noir. Just my style.

Here are my last two book dates of the year and then I’m DONE for quite some time:

Tuesday, Dec 11 in McAlester, Oklahoma, accompanied by the former prosecutor from Now I Lay Me Down, Judge Maxey Reilly and the acclaimed Okie singer/songwriter Nellie Clay. We’ll be at the public library there at 11 a.m. and then at Common Roots that afternoon for a signing from 4 – 6 p.m.

Friday, Dec 14 at The Branch in Tahlequah, Oklahoma, 7 p.m. This time the real performance will come from our beloved and talented Buffalo Rogers. I get to be the lucky sidecar. Oh, how I relish being the lucky sidecar. Seriously.

Ok, it is past time to sign off now. Thank you so much if you stuck with me through to the end. You take care now and give that joy away.

“Listen, I shew you a Mystery. We shall not all sleep, but we shall all be transformed.”

 

Hell Canyon, Part 3 of 3

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This is my spooky gift for your October. It is a serialized short fiction piece originally published in 2011, before any of my books went into print. Perhaps we may call it a prequel. The infancy of Okie Noir. Curl up in your favorite chair, pull a blankie over your lap and hear the rain softly tapping on your window. Then again, let us hope it is only the rain. Please enjoy Hell Canyon, Part 3 of 3

He and Shell walked back toward the creek. Their voices swirled together in the wind that blew through the canyon.

Aunt Cindy told me later that I threw the awfullest fit you ever saw when Shell left that second time.  I fought so hard I even got loose of her for a second and took off after them. I only made it a few steps before she snatched me back up again. I wonder sometimes if maybe I sensed that something bad was on its way. Maybe that’s why I didn’t want to let her go. Maybe.

The police took statements after she disappeared. When I was old enough I went back and read through all the reports I could find. Shell and Grandpa had filled up the entire gallon bucket with bones from that creek bed. They came back to camp at dusk, both convinced Shell had found a human skeleton. Everyone was disturbed but agreed that they would contact the authorities first thing next morning. Shell and Cindy went to sleep in the back of the camper and Grandma took me into the tent with her and Grandpa.

Cindy’s police statement said she woke up in the middle of the night just after 3:00 a.m. Said she heard a train whistle and a pack of coyotes screaming all at once. She was frightened by that awful sound so she sat up and looked out the window of the camper. She saw a faint glowing red light off in the distance but couldn’t say for sure whether it was a tail light. She watched until it faded away, then went to lie back down again. That’s when she realized Shell was gone. She yelled for Grandma and Grandpa and they came tripping over each other out of the tent, wild-eyed and confused. Once they understood that Shell was missing, Grandpa grabbed a flashlight and went through the entire RV camp rattling families from their sleep and shouting for Shell. He tore through that camp up one side and down the other. But she was gone.

The police arrived half an hour later but they weren’t too excited over a teenaged girl gone missing. They had a lot of questions about how our family got along and if Shell had any reason to run away. They even hinted she might’ve run off to escape her responsibility of raising me. That suggestion made Grandpa so mad he nearly went to jail himself. The only reason he didn’t was because Grandma started crying and begged him to get hold of himself.

When daylight came, Grandpa saw that the bones had vanished too, bucket and all.  He told the police about finding the skeleton on the creek. They looked at him like he’d lost his marbles and sent a man down to comb over the creek bed. He came back after fifteen minutes and said he didn’t find a thing.

After a week of searching, Grandma said we had no other choice but to go back home. Grandpa drove us to Oklahoma, turned around and drove right back to Hell Canyon by himself. He was out there for a month before Grandma wrote him a letter saying he’d lose both his daughters if he didn’t come back in time to give Cindy away at the wedding.

He came back like she asked, but he never stopped hounding the Fallow County police until the day he died. Eight years after Shell disappeared the stress of it finally took him. God as my witness, people really can die of a broken heart. That’s one thing I hope you never have to see.

Strange how people in this little town still conspire on what really happened out there in the middle of the desert. My neighbors speak to each other in hushed tones that come to a sudden halt when they see me coming. They must wonder why I keep looking for her after all this time. But maybe none of them know what it’s like to lose their mama. Maybe it really isn’t fair to expect anyone to understand. That was the summer my mama disappeared. And I don’t guess I’ll ever stop hoping she finds her way back from Hell Canyon.

 

(Originally published by Quentin Bomgardner, Kelly M. Roberts and The Red Dirt Chronicles)

#okienoir

Hell Canyon, Part 2 of 3

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Welcome back. This is my spooky gift for your October. It is a serialized short fiction piece originally published in 2011, before any of my books went into print. Perhaps we may call it a prequel. Curl up in your favorite chair, pull a blankie on your lap and hear the rain softly tapping on your window. Then again, let us hope it is only the rain. Please enjoy Hell Canyon, Part 2 of 4

We were road weary by the time the camper pulled into the RV park. Grandpa went to check us in at the front office. The park was a nice and clean. They even had a pool. Everyone had taken turns riding in the back of the camper except for Grandpa. The only decent breeze you got back there was if you stuck your face right up next to the window vent, so the pool looked mighty inviting.

Shell was the only one who didn’t want to go swimming. She had spotted an old creek bed running a ways back off the road. She wanted to get down there and hunt for fossils. Back home we had piles of white rocks riddled with little horseshoe and screw-shaped fossils in our garden. Shell never went for a swim at the creek without bringing a few of them back.

Grandpa told her not to stay gone too long since we’d be eating supper pretty quick. So she took off and left me there with Cindy and Grandma, splashing around in that nice, blue pool. We have pictures of that, too. Pictures of Cindy and Grandma passing me back and forth, my chunky baby arms bobbing on the water’s surface. We spent half an hour or so in the pool before Grandma said it was time to get out. Aunt Cindy saw to it that I got dressed while Grandma started supper.

Before too long Grandpa asked, “Shell back yet?”

In truth, everyone had been busy and kind of forgotten about her. Cindy was annoyed and said she’d go fetch Shell back from the creek.  Cindy took off down the two lane black top. When she was put out she walked pretty funny. It was a fast clip that made her head bob up and down. That’s one thing I remember for sure, the sight of Aunt Cindy’s arms swinging back and forth, fists clenched, head popping up and down, just like a chicken.

When we saw Shell and Cindy walking back together, we knew they were having a fuss. Cindy was barking at Shell and gesturing up at the sky with both hands. We could see that Shell was carrying something. Grandpa said he figured she had found her fossil.

When they reached camp, Cindy was still worked up and turned her attention to Grandma.

“Look what she did! Shell went and dug up a bone on the creek!” Cindy’s face was red and her arms were crossed against her chest. “Momma, I TOLD her to put it back but she wouldn’t listen. She wanted to keep digging!”

She turned and faced her sister again. “Shell, why do you always act just like a FREAK?”

“Settle down, settle down, girls.” Grandpa said. “What’d you find Shell? Bring it here and let’s have a look.”

“Frank, I don’t approve her dragging up a bone of any kind to camp, whether it came from a horse or Howdy Doody. We’re fixin to eat.” Grandma said flatly.

“Oh, we’ll wash our hands, Mary,” he said in reply. Grandma gave up and went back to peeling potatoes.

“Come on now, whatcha got there Shellie?” She walked over and gave him a thin curved bone. Nicks and grooves on the weathered surface hinted that maybe it had been gnawed on by an animal.

“Probably some stray dog wandering the road got hit by a car,” Cindy said over her shoulder.

“It isn’t a dog.” Shell said.

Grandpa had been turning the bone end over end in his hands. “How do you know that, Sis?”

“Well, I think that’s a clavicle. I mean, I’m pretty sure of it,” she said. “We just studied over it in Anatomy. My textbook said only animals that walk upright have bones shaped in this particular way.”

The camp went silent while the rest of the family considered her statement. Shell was enrolled in the county Vo-Tech nursing program. Even Cindy had to admit that her younger sister was better versed on this subject.

“Oh, Dad, can’t you just stop encouraging her?”

He didn’t acknowledge Cindy’s question. “Well, after dinner I’ll walk down there with you and we’ll see what we can dig up, how about it?”

Shell brightened up considerably.

“Ok. I’m just glad somebody believes me,” she said, shooting a sideways glance at her sister.

Grateful the argument had died down, Grandma fanned out a faded pink sheet over the concrete picnic table. Everyone forgot about the bones for a spell and laughed and talked over beans and fried potatoes.

After dinner, Grandpa walked to the back of the camper and returned with a gallon bucket.

“I guess you’re planning on coming back with a body in a bucket, Daddy?” Cindy sniffed.

“Maybe. We’ll see,” he said.

 

***to be continued next Sunday***

(Originally published by Quentin Bomgardner, Kelly M. Roberts and The Red Dirt Chronicles)

#okienoir

Hell Canyon, Part 1 of 3

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My mama disappeared that summer. Funny thing about memory, sometimes I don’t know the difference between my own true recollection and things I’ve been told. Maybe that’s due partly to hearing bits and pieces of this story over and over again, my whole life, from the time that photo was taken to this day. And now look at me. Sitting here telling the same story all over again.

See, that trip was our last family vacation. Cindy (she’s the pretty one with the hat) had only been off to college for two months before she came back and announced her engagement. The wedding was set for October. Grandpa Frank said we would take one last family vacation together before Cindy’s no-account city boy married into the family.

Grandpa mapped out the drive and explained that the planning part was just as much fun as the doing part. He took out a big atlas of the United States and pointed out the route from Okemah to Hell Canyon. We’d stop in at the RV park in Hell Canyon and camp for the night, then wake up before daylight next day and drive on to the coast. Grandpa made the whirring sound of a car engine as he dragged his finger along Route 66 from Okemah all the way out to California. Cindy rolled her eyes and looked away. But Shell’s eyes were filled with light and excitement. She laughed every time Grandpa’s finger stopped and took off again on the map.

Cindy always said Shell was Grandpa’s favorite, despite the fact that she was the only natural born trouble maker of the whole bunch. Grandma had a hard time making Shell behave. In fact, sometime shortly after Shell’s thirteenth birthday, Grandma just threw up her hands and said she was through trying. She had washed Shell’s mouth out with soap, thrashed her with cedar branches, grounded her for life, threatened her with boarding school and finally resorted to begging. But Shell never would give in. She’d take her lumps and keep right on with whatever scheme she’d cooked up in the first place.

Grandma would cry and say Shell was hell bent. But Grandpa didn’t believe that at all. He said she was just thirsty for life and tended to gulp it down quicker than most could tolerate.

When I was born, Shell was just sixteen. Grandma told everybody that I would be enough to quench Shell’s thirst for a real long time. Shell named me Frances, but no one ever called me that. On the day I was born Grandma said I was her little June bug and from then on I was called Junie.

It was my second birthday when we all loaded into the camper truck and set out on the road for our last trip together. Shell picked out the traveling music. A steady beat shuffled us along the road while Hank Williams howled, “Then I hurried straight home and packed…And if I didn’t go, I believe I’d blow my stack.”

…to be continued…

 

(Originally published by Quentin Bomgardner, Kelly M. Roberts and The Red Dirt Chronicles)